Former President Bill Clinton says in a new documentary series released Friday that getting involved in a sexual affair with Monica Lewinsky was a way to “manage my anxieties.”
The four part Hulu docuseries “Hillary” details the life of former first lady Hillary Clinton, including her early relationship with Bill Clinton, their marriage, the scandal and her 2016 presidential campaign.
In the new documentary, titled “Hillary,” the former president partially blamed the pressure of his life in politics for the infamous affair with the young White House intern.
“What I did, it was bad, but it wasn’t like I thought, ‘Let’s see. How can I think of the most stupid thing I can possibly do and do it.’ it’s not a defense, it’s an explanation. it was awful,” he said.
“We all bring our baggage to life and do things we shouldn’t do and it was awful what I did everybody’s life has pressures and disappointments and terrors, fears of whatever, things I did to manage my anxieties for years .. I’m a different – totally different person than I was,” Mr. Clinton said in a newly released Hulu documentary.
He also noted that he feels terrible about how the scandal defined Lewinsky’s life. The scandal threw a 22-year-old Lewinsky into a media-fueled public shaming.
“Hillary,” which debuted Friday, also details how the president told the first lady about the affair after he initially lied about it to his family and the country.
“I went and sat on the bed to talk to (Hillary),” he said. “I told her exactly what happened, when it happened. I said, ‘I feel terrible about it.’ I said, ‘You know, we’ve been through quite a bit in the last few years,’ I said, ‘I have no defenses. It’s inexcusable what I did.'”
In the documentary, Hillary Clinton said she was personally hurt and admitted she didn’t speak to her husband for weeks after he admitted the affair.
Hillary addressed the scandal alongside her husband, who spoke candidly about his extra-marital affair as president. For Clinton herself, it was earth-shattering.
“I was just devastated,” she says in the documentary. “I just could not believe it. I was just so personally hurt and, ‘I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you lied.’ It was—anyways, horrible. And I said, ‘If this is going to be public, you’ve got to go tell Chelsea.'”