CafeMom reports— The problem started when the dad’s 16-year-old daughter got in trouble at school for making fun of a student who lost her hair to chemotherapy.
In a post that has since been deleted, the dad explained that he has full custody of his teenage daughter and was furious when she got in trouble for making fun of another girl “that lost her hair from cancer treatment. Including pulling off her wig.”
Apparently, The daughter is dating the other girl’s ex-boyfriend and of course this resulted in drama.
“They were having an argument in class about stupid teenage gossip regarding my daughter’s boyfriend. At some point the other girl mentioned how my daughter’s boyfriend was just using her for sex (this was actually a big shock to me as I had no idea she was sexually active) and called my daughter a slut. That’s what escalated the situation and resulted in the wig incident. Supposedly they have been arguing in class ever since my daughter started dating the guy in question. Basically just stupid teenage ‘he said she said’ nonsense.”
Knowing that there is some “pre-existing bad blood” between the two, dad still doesn’t think any of it “even begins to excuse her behavior.”
“Not how I’ve raised my daughter to treat people and it truly disgusted me to hear how she acted from her deputy principle,” he wrote. “She showed no remorse. She tried to excuse her behavior by saying the girl in question deserved it. Again, I don’t care what she said, that behavior is inexcusable.”
The dad came up with two punishments: She could either live without technology OR she could shave her head completely bald.
His daughter chose to lose her hair over her cell phone, but that didn’t mean she was happy about her choice.
Although both his daughter and his ex-wife went ballistic about the punishment, the dad was firm on making her follow through with it. “She will go to the hairdresser and get a cue ball haircut. As in, a completely shaved head, as bald as the hairdresser can do,” he wrote. “No wig. She has to go to school like that until it grows back.”
Now, dad says that everyone thinks he went overboard and mom is furious that “it will make her the target of bullying.” But to dad, that’s exactly the point — to teach her some compassion.
“I came up with the punishment because I thought my daughter had an extreme lack of empathy for the girl she bullied,” he says. And added that her actions felt all the more personal because he lost his mother to breast cancer when he was in his 20s.
“My daughter knows this and that is what really disgusted me with her behavior,” he says. “It demonstrated a complete and utter lack of empathy. I hoped that her going to school bald and walking a mile in the other girl’s shoes would teach her a lesson.”
Some people thought the punishment was way too harsh.
“Your daughter sucks for bullying that girl, obviously. But you went too far with this punishment,” one person wrote in the comments.
“Your daughter is a bully because you are a bully,” someone else added. “I seriously doubt this is the first time you used abuse and humiliation to ‘teach her a lesson.'”
And another person wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is, “There’s a term for what you did. It’s called child abuse,” the person wrote. “Taking away her electronics would have been an appropriate punishment. Grounding her would have been an appropriate punishment. Disrespecting her right to bodily autonomy and humiliating her is not an appropriate punishment. She’s unlikely to learn from it and if anything it risks perpetuating a cycle of bullying.”